LETTER: The inedible muffin

Reader Ralph Friesen writes about the snack he was served in the hospital.

Recently I had a “procedure” (colonoscopy) at Kootenay Lake Hospital. All went well. All the nurses and doctors were personable, friendly and efficient. Bed clean, blanket warm. If it had been a spa, I would have given it a five star review.

During the procedure itself, I was not conscious, in that eerie state of total blotto that only a general anesthetic can produce. I awoke to a symphony of gently passing gas — my own, and whoever else was in the recovery room behind drawn curtains. Relief!

As a reward for being such brave soldiers, patients are offered a little snack afterwards. The preparation for a colonoscopy, as most of you will know, requires a period of fasting. (It requires other things, too, but let’s keep our focus.)

I was pretty hungry, salivating a bit. A muffin and a stick of cheese and a little box of juice sat on my tray. The muffin was wrapped in clear plastic, which I removed before taking a bite. I chewed. Or should I say, I made chewing motions, for I did not actually encounter any chew-able substance. It was more like paste, or glue. It stuck to the roof of my mouth. After a few minutes of this, I was able to swallow the stuff, but did not feel encouraged to try another bite. I looked at the printing on the wrapper: the “muffin” was provided by Sysco. From Toronto.

I ate the cheese and washed it down with juice. The cheese was produced by Kraft, and came in its own nifty little plastic package. It tasted kind of like cheese, yes, and I was able to chew it. I forgot to look to see where it came from.

Okay, so in terms of stories of personal suffering, this one is pretty pale, eh? Kind of like a Senator going on about cold Camembert. Nevertheless, there is a larger issue. A hospital service, presumably, takes an interest in the well-being of patients. Why serve bad, non-nutritious, non-local food? I’m pretty sure I know the answer. “It’s cheaper.” That’s what the IHA would tell us, yes? But do we know this to be really true?

Anyway, all of you who might be wondering when you’ll schedule that colonoscopy your doctor recommended — go ahead and do it. You don’t have to eat that muffin.

Ralph Friesen


Just Posted

Forester’s video animation helps explain Nelson’s wildfire risks

John Cathro’s video shows who owns land in and around Nelson

‘Surrounding a community with a fire break won’t help’

RDCK offers fire danger assessments to homeowners

Carfentanil found for first time in Castlegar

Killer opiod found in local illegal drug market

LETTER: 140,000 jobs are at risk

From reader Robert MacCrae

LETTER: Grateful for guardian angels

From reader Botella (Bo) Rudolph

VIDEO: Nelson students paint Parachutes for the Planet

The youth-led initiative lobbies governments for climate change action

Sri Lanka invokes war-time military powers after nearly 300 killed in Easter bombings

Sri Lanka’s minister of tourism says 39 foreign tourists were killed in the Easter Sunday attacks

Ex-mayor of northern village claims its drivers are overpaying ICBC $1,800 a year

Darcy Repen says data shows Telkwa households are being ripped off for car insurance

Deadly synthetic drug found in Kamloops that puts users in ‘zombielike’ state

Interior Health warning says substance causes ‘speedy, trippy-like symptoms’ and hallucinations

Trudeau to be portrayed on ‘Simpsons’ episode

Toronto journalist who’s posted videos of himself doing impressions of the PM voiced him for the show

Elizabeth May’s wedding dress a ‘walk through a garden’ on Earth Day

Green Party leader set to get married in Victoria

Bodies of 3 mountain climbers recovered after last week’s Banff avalanche

The men disappeared while attempting to climb the east face of Howse Peak in the Icefields Parkway

B.C. fire department rescues kittens

Enderby homeowner not aware kittens in wood pile near garbage pile fire that got out of hand

Most Read